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justanothrdrunk · 08-19-2009, 08:31 AM

Unrleated to what? Irrelevant with respect to what? Your interests? (that sounds harsh, not trying to be snotty)

I do agree that probably the best way to help the newcomer when it's your turn to share (if that's your goal) is to do what you describe. Though I'll go a step further and say that I think the overall best way to help the newcomer is by simply taking an interest in them.

Most of the meetings I attend are step meetings. In that regard, I do my best to share about my experience with that step (the step we are discussing that week). I don't tend to think about how much I may or may not be helping anyone else in the room. My experience is what it is - if that's helpful to someone else, that's just gravy.

When listening to others, I don't have any expectations except for some of the relevant traditions - no outside issues, politics, gossip, etc. If someone was sharing and started in about some outside political issue or something, I would interrupt and remind them of the traditions.

Outside of that, who am I to judge what is relevant or not?

And what I mean by that is for many years alcohol ruled my life. Every aspect of my existance was ruled by alcohol. Thankfully, that is no longer the case. However, I'm still dealing with some of the same personal defects (as I suspect we all are). I'm also trying (constantly) to improve my emotional and spiritual health. And I know that every move I make has an emotional and/or spiritual impact.

Let's say I go out and buy a dog. I share in a meeting about buying a dog. I may not have the exact right words to explain how this dog has affected my spiritual condition. But I know that everything I do affects my spiritual condition... I'm probably not explaining this very well...

In another regard, when I'm in a room and someone is sharing about whatever - it's because my HP put me there and wants me to hear what I'm hearing. Sometimes it's tough for me to figure out what I can learn from that. Maybe I need to learn to be patient. Maybe I need to learn to be more assertive so I can bring up in the group conscience about keeping shares on topic.

My point is, I don't compartmentalize other's sharing into relevant and irrelevant categories. Every alcoholic's experience is relevant in my opinion.

I will admit that my opinion probably does not follow the traditions to the letter or the singleness of purpose. As such, should something like this come up in the context of a group conscious discussion, I would certainly go with whatever the group decides (say if the group decided to put measures into place to help ensure sharing stays on topic in the opinion of a certain person of group of people).

Just my opinion about that. Not trying to sound harsh and say that your ideas about what may be relevant or not are wrong or bad.

08-19-2009, 08:31 AM	#5 (permalink)
justanothrdrunk Retired Pro Drunk Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Saint Paul, MN Posts: 855	Unrleated to what? Irrelevant with respect to what? Your interests? (that sounds harsh, not trying to be snotty) I do agree that probably the best way to help the newcomer when it's your turn to share (if that's your goal) is to do what you describe. Though I'll go a step further and say that I think the overall best way to help the newcomer is by simply taking an interest in them. Most of the meetings I attend are step meetings. In that regard, I do my best to share about my experience with that step (the step we are discussing that week). I don't tend to think about how much I may or may not be helping anyone else in the room. My experience is what it is - if that's helpful to someone else, that's just gravy. When listening to others, I don't have any expectations except for some of the relevant traditions - no outside issues, politics, gossip, etc. If someone was sharing and started in about some outside political issue or something, I would interrupt and remind them of the traditions. Outside of that, who am I to judge what is relevant or not? And what I mean by that is for many years alcohol ruled my life. Every aspect of my existance was ruled by alcohol. Thankfully, that is no longer the case. However, I'm still dealing with some of the same personal defects (as I suspect we all are). I'm also trying (constantly) to improve my emotional and spiritual health. And I know that every move I make has an emotional and/or spiritual impact. Let's say I go out and buy a dog. I share in a meeting about buying a dog. I may not have the exact right words to explain how this dog has affected my spiritual condition. But I know that everything I do affects my spiritual condition... I'm probably not explaining this very well... In another regard, when I'm in a room and someone is sharing about whatever - it's because my HP put me there and wants me to hear what I'm hearing. Sometimes it's tough for me to figure out what I can learn from that. Maybe I need to learn to be patient. Maybe I need to learn to be more assertive so I can bring up in the group conscience about keeping shares on topic. My point is, I don't compartmentalize other's sharing into relevant and irrelevant categories. Every alcoholic's experience is relevant in my opinion. I will admit that my opinion probably does not follow the traditions to the letter or the singleness of purpose. As such, should something like this come up in the context of a group conscious discussion, I would certainly go with whatever the group decides (say if the group decided to put measures into place to help ensure sharing stays on topic in the opinion of a certain person of group of people). Just my opinion about that. Not trying to sound harsh and say that your ideas about what may be relevant or not are wrong or bad.