| I am a mess
I have been trying so hard to keep it all together, but it just isn't working. I haven't got energy for anything and I can't remember anything. I just can't focus and it's making me crazy. My house is a wreck and I don't care, I run around for an hour before the H gets home picking up just so I can avoid the fight that is sure to happen because the place is a mess, because I sure as hell don't have the energy to argue. I am a party plan consultant and my business is successful one month and the next I can't make myself work, as a result I have promoted and then fell back a few times now. I couldn't find something in my office if my life depended on it, I pile things on my desk then move them to a shelf and finally to a box and don't even look to see what I am putting in there. Just keep moving it so I don't have to deal with it. Any kind of loud noise grates on my nerves to the point that I have to leave the room if the t.v. is too loud, or my poor 5 year old gets yelled at to PLEASE play quietly. I am desperately trying to maintain some sense of normalcy for my kids, but I am so tired...
I have been on and off anti depressants for five years now, never with counseling though and I think it's about time I figure out what is going on with me, not just medicating to get through it. I did finally make an appointment with a counselor, but she can't get me in for two weeks and right now that seems like an eternity. Wow, what a rambling post, sorry gang!
Paula
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