BLK, this isn't directed AT you but what is with this NEED to SUPPORT THEM ANYWAY YOU CAN?????? IMHO it's the first codependent red flag......aka he NEEDS my help, he NEEDS my support, i have the power to screw up HIS recovery.
ok, sorry for the rant. how about just let the guy do his thing and don't buy him any bottles of Absolut?
go slow, dont' rush anything, live YOUR own life first, and give EACH of you room to breathe.