Mr. Baldjim,
Let me first introduce myself with the disclaimer that I have no credentials or knowledge of infinite wisdoms. I would also like to add that I, personally, do not know whether there is a G*d or not. It seems to me that there are as many conceptions of G*d as there are members of SR.
Last week I watched the movie Ghandi and in it a priest said "I am not so egotistical to think that God plans His day around me."
I have come to the thinking that rather than "Why me?" it is "Why not me?"
The human history is full of tragedies. My life has seen some incomprehensible tragedies, as well. I also buried my son.
I really like Astro's signature quote!
The thing I do have in my power and realm of choice and control is how I will respond to life, it's blessings and tragedies. Can I be a blessing to myself and others or do I burden myself and others with my thinking and behaviors?
I wish you had shared what challenge you are facing now....thus, perhaps, allowing support for yourself and others the opportunity to share with you.
I know I have not answered your question...I simply do not know!
Peace be with you,
Live