Hi everyone!
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted! I had my back surgery 4 months ago today! I had anterior lumbar spinal fusion on 2 discs. They went in through my abdomen (I have a scar almost a foot long!) and I now have titanium in my back. It has been very painful, but the pain is definitely different than before the surgery!
The meds: I have been on pain meds since the surgery although I am on 1/3 less now than when I got home from the hospital. I truly go back and forth with being on narcotics. My sponsor tells me to look at it as medication and my fiance does hold on to them. I have stopped using them twice on my own only to find myself in very, very bad pain. No physical pain could match the pain of addictive addiction though and that is what scares me about being on them. Opiates were my drug of choice and now I take them every 4 hours. I do not get even a slight buzz from them and I know I have to take them. Most of the time I'm ok with it, but sometimes I'm not. I think about everything I've lost through my addiction and it scares me. I've come very far since being in recovery. I celebrated 1 year free from active addiction yesterday
I am back in college (online) - I figured I'd do something productive with the time I'd be laid up - and I just finished my first term with a 98.4 and a 100!!! Not too shabby
I am a psychology major with my focus on substance abuse. My dream is to help others dealing with addiction and/or grief and depression.
I realize I'm all over the place with this post, I apologize for that. I just wanted to get these thoughts down and get some folks caught up on how I've been doing since my last post!
Oh, and I got engaged 2 weeks ago to my wonderful, loving partner! He is the absolute best!!! I am truly blessed