| sick and tired
I don't even really know what I want to say here. I've had an extremely depressive episode and it has affected my job and my family. Quite possibly my future. I've missed work and I really need this job. They're strict on attendance and I was warned but didn't go in thursday or friday, I just couldn't. They know my situation. They've already worked with me once. But they said they'd move me to a less stressful job and that was two weeks ago. The deal was that they move me and I stop missing time. I hope they take that into consideration. So tomorrow I find out if I have a job or not. I know that this could be a blessing in disguise because this work environment is absolutely toxic for me.
People just don't get it. My mother-in-law lives next door and she has the mindset that the economy is bad and you get yourself to work every day and be thankful you have a job. Well that's all good for most people. Not for me. My episode is getting better but I'm using seroquel which I can't afford and I'm almost out. So we don't have a plan for my meds. I'm already on too much in my opinion.
Is it possible to detox from all this stuff? People do it with alcohol. I just feel like I'm taking all these meds and I'm still depressed. So what would I be like without them? I know I need to talk to my doctor and I know I should come off of these things slowly.
Today I'm going to go outside and get some sun and try not to think about my job situation since I can't do anything about it at this point.
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