SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - My addict boyfriend passed....need to talk

**Impurrfect** · 08-14-2009, 09:45 PM

(((Rachell)))

I am so sorry for what has brought you here.

As ((tjp)) said above, please do not blame yourself. I am a recovering addict (crack) but I have also abused opiates and have done enough that I should be dead. There is nothing anyone could say or do that would have made me use or made me stop. No one has that much power.

As far as if he really loved you, I think he did. People say that addicts don't really love, they "take hostages". I'm sorry, but I disagree. I think they love you as much as they can. They can't love you like someone who is NOT an addict can, because when we are on drugs we just aren't emotionally available. We run from things we don't want to deal with by using. My boyfriend and I both used. To this day, I still love him and I have over 2 years clean. I am not IN love with him, however, and I have moved on. He is still on crack, in and out of jail, but the few times I have seen him, I can tell...the feelings are still there.

I am sorry you're hurting and I know you have a lot of questions...some that will probably never be answered. I can tell you that the majority of addicts who overdose do NOT do it on purpose. It is usually an accident, especially if it was something injected because you don't know how pure (strong) the drug is or what it's cut (mixed) with).

We also have a grief/loss forum you are welcome to check out, but you are welcome anywhere. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Often times, posting here, reading other posts can help. There are others here who know your pain.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

08-14-2009, 09:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
Impurrfect Social Network Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 18,284	(((Rachell))) I am so sorry for what has brought you here. As ((tjp)) said above, please do not blame yourself. I am a recovering addict (crack) but I have also abused opiates and have done enough that I should be dead. There is nothing anyone could say or do that would have made me use or made me stop. No one has that much power. As far as if he really loved you, I think he did. People say that addicts don't really love, they "take hostages". I'm sorry, but I disagree. I think they love you as much as they can. They can't love you like someone who is NOT an addict can, because when we are on drugs we just aren't emotionally available. We run from things we don't want to deal with by using. My boyfriend and I both used. To this day, I still love him and I have over 2 years clean. I am not IN love with him, however, and I have moved on. He is still on crack, in and out of jail, but the few times I have seen him, I can tell...the feelings are still there. I am sorry you're hurting and I know you have a lot of questions...some that will probably never be answered. I can tell you that the majority of addicts who overdose do NOT do it on purpose. It is usually an accident, especially if it was something injected because you don't know how pure (strong) the drug is or what it's cut (mixed) with). We also have a grief/loss forum you are welcome to check out, but you are welcome anywhere. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Often times, posting here, reading other posts can help. There are others here who know your pain. Hugs and prayers! Amy __________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer "You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. Don't give up here, don't you quit, the moment is now, this is it I know that you can then you will, get to the top of the hill. Part of the fun is the climb, you just gotta make up your mind" - Shania Twain (Tinker, Elvis, Patches and Mots - Mouth Of The South)