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It really bothers me when people stay with their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/whatever despite the fact they have continually proven to be violent, hurtful, or otherwise untrustworthy. I really don't understand why you would want to put yourself through so much pain. I know you don't want to hear any of this, but I think you could do a lot better. My honest advice is to move on, it doesn't matter whether he saw the stabbing or not, you're not together anymore anyway. Having a relationship just because you are lonely and feel the need to stick to someone is not worth all that grief and is very unhealthy. I strongly urge you to find a hobby/activity and keep yourself busy in a healthy way before you drive yourself crazy.
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