[ClayTheScribe]

I also posted this in the men's only forum, so sorry for the repeat. I'm just posting here to get a diversity of opinions.

I know I've written about this before and you're probably tired of hearing it, but I'm still frustrated. I'm saying the following for those who haven't heard my story. If you feel I've done enough writing on this and you're tired of hearing about it, move along.

So I'm 24 and I've never had sex and only one short-term relationship when I was 16. I've pretty much come to terms with being a virgin and getting over the embarrassment as it was one of the big reasons I drank so I have to overcome that, and many on SR helped me realize it. And one of my female friends said recently it's a "blessing" which frustrated me at first because I tried to contradict her, but it made me feel better later on.

Anyways, I understand for a long time in sobriety (a year?) you should avoid relationships and sex. However now, especially that I just graduated college and have more confidence, I feel the sexual urges and desire for relationships more than ever, and especially after I stopped drinking. My depression just keeps those same thought patterns swirling. I want to get to a place where I don't desire sex and intimacy and a relationship as much so recovery goes smoother for me. Besides taking care of things myself to keep the urges at bay, what else should I do? Or am I screwed until I can establish a long period of sobriety and how long should that be? I'm not looking for pity and I don't feel sorry for myself about this. Just want to know how to accept the urges and desires and carry on because it's distracting me in my everyday life functioning, especially since I might be moving to start a new job and all those life changes. I know Bamboozle struggles with this too.

Thanks,
Clayton