[Gypsy Feet]

Emotionally ravaged, spiritually bereft, mentally disgusted and confused. The day I found SR, I could not look in a mirror. When my phone would ring, if it showed my mother or my daughter calling, i would burst into tears (if I wasn't crying already). I had spent the past many years in absolute spiritual darkness, forgetting there was anything "higher". I did not realize how far astray my life had gone until many weeks into SR and sobriety. I did not know how to be happy, or if I was or wasn't. I had very little if any knowledge of my feelings. I knew how to take care of others, I didn't even know there was a me to take care of. It all came to a head one hideous night, a night I thought I could never forgive myself for. . .



I googled "alcohol recovery" and found this magical, blessed place of healing. I met first the wonderful people in the class of December, who were all just as new and raw as I was. Anna and Carol and least and Dee and other "regulars" were voices through the fog of my pain. I almost couldn't make out their words, but enough sunk in to anchor me here.

I learned I needed to forgive me first, and with my friend Warren's help I did. I found the codependent squad next, and they shed light on to what certainly was a deeper problem in my life then even my drinking had been. And with all of this sage advice, with all of this knowledge and experience shared to shed light, and with all of the kindness and love on this site. . .

I have changed. I am changing. I am learning and growing and experiencing. I am feeling and discovering and seeking and understanding.

It has been 220 days since I woke up to my first sober morning in a very long time. Now I look back at that horrid night, and as much as I dislike what happened in principle, I am so very grateful that it led me here.

There truly is abundant joy, peace and meaning to be had in this life. I hope for all of you seeking it, you open your hearts and use the resources available to help you find it.