This advice to me has been golden. I have stayed away for and official year in two days and I do feel different than I did. Many times its hard to put a finger on but generally my self awareness and knowlege is greater. During treatment was the first 'no sex for a year' suggestion and it was non AA. I was curious as to why. The answer the instructor gave me was that it is not just the desire for sex that drives the new in recovery but that we wanted that close intimate feeling to fill in the loneliness. The act was termed fostering a false sense of intimacy. In retrospect that is exactly what I wanted. Yes, it wasn't intamacy that I wanted but blissful excape. Just another drug to get hooked on another crutch.
My communication and relating skills have improved and I'm not really looking for anyone to learn on. I am able to look at my desire to play big daddy and realize that this woman is not a girl and if she is acting like one I walk away. In addition, I have formed a strong sex ideal from the fourth step and know what I'm looking for and what I'm not. I have learned alot from the women's shares in mixed meetings and have been able to listen better without the sex distraction is there. Yes, AA women are really hot at times. Sobriety just helps us in many ways but I look on them as sisters now. I can get many dating tips, secrets and support from them and vice versa
