View Single Post
Old 07-27-2009, 10:41 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Astro
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
I'm sure it's possible, but I grew up with my birth parents, both alcoholics, so everything I learned was a direct result of watching their relationship.

Mom was a great codie, caretaker, enabler, and alcoholic. She was a stay at home mom and took it seriously. In spite of the mental and verbal abuse my Dad heaped on her, she stuck with it to take care of her boys, and drank her way through the pain. She's gone now, I wish I'd known about recovery prior to her death so I could understand what she was going through.

Dad was a classic alcoholic, always high-functioning. Took good care of his family, but when it came to marriage he knew how to slam doors, throw dishes, he took mental and verbal abuse to an art form. The day after a big fight he'd be apologetic and it would begin all over again.

Most of the traits I learned from my parents are listed in CoDA's "Patterns And Characteristics Of Codependency". Everything I know about relationships I learned from my parents. I burned through quite a few dysfunctional relationships and marriages with women who struggled with their own addictions. Thankfully, there are programs like AA and CoDA to help me understand where I've come from.
Astro is offline