My problem with step three is that it says to turn our will and lives over the care of God 'as we understood him'... but I don't understand him, at least not at this point in my life. I remember the God of my childhood and don't feel connected, or able to connect with 'that' God at all.
I have also been told that my HP can be anything: group of drunks, good orderly direction, gift of desperation, the ocean, the forest, the stars and the universe... that's all well and good, but how do I turn my will and life over to the trees or stars or ocean? I'm really lost and confused here and cannot come to any answers or understanding of this.
Turning my will and life over to the care of God implies a HP who is ABLE to care for me, unlike the ocean or the trees or stars. Oceans, trees, and stars are powerful forces indeed, but it doesn't seem possible to turn my will and life over to a "powerful force" unless it is a deity. Maybe some confusion trying to reconcile the God of my childhood with the God of my understanding today... if indeed I HAVE a "God of my understanding"...
Sorry to ask so many dumb questions but I really want to know this... and so far I don't understand it at all. I've been told that the "God of my understanding" will 'come' to me eventually... but what do I do in the meantime??
