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mc20071 · 07-16-2009, 04:36 PM

Hi I am new to this site and I am looking for some advice on a relationship that I am involved in.
I have 4 months clean, and she has 6 months clean. We became really good friends within the last month and a half and I can trust her with anything, and she feels the same to me. It slowly progressed to being more than just friends, we didn't have sex which I'm thankful for. I am just really confused right now because I care about this girl so much but her sponsor doesn't think its a good idea for her to be involved in this. I understand she needs to finish her steps as do i. I'm currently working on my 9th step and I really feel like I have made huge progress from my old behaviors. My sponsor always asks me what are my motives behind this, and all I can think of is that I just really care for this girl, and we have a deeper connection beyond "just friends"... She means so much to me, but i'm just really hung up on what to do. Her sponsors suggests that we don't see eachother as much, but then it just kind of feels weird and unnatural because I enjoy her company and I can talk to her about anything thats going on in my life, including my feelings towards her. We have a very open and honest relationship and there is nothing that I feel uncomfortable talking to her about. It's just really hard to feel forced to not see her and not spend time with her because of the "you're not in a place for a relationship" rule... It also gets to me because her sponsor and my sponsor are boyfriend and girlfriend and they were dating while using, and continued to date through rehab, into recovery... Her sponsor has a year and a half and it seems like she is trying to project her will for the situation onto us... I don't know if i'm looking into that too far or what? But, i've been praying to God so much about this the last couple of weeks and it just seems like the natural progression of things were going where they were... We both have said all along to take things really slow, and they are going really slow... But it I can't stop my feelings and emotions for her and just turn back to being "just friends" again... I'm just really confused on what to do... I don't want to use or drink, I just want to be less confused on the situation. I will continue to pray about this and seek god out for his will in the situation... If anyone has any advice, please share.

07-16-2009, 04:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
mc20071 Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: San Clemente,CA Posts: 1	Relationship In Early Recovery Hi I am new to this site and I am looking for some advice on a relationship that I am involved in. I have 4 months clean, and she has 6 months clean. We became really good friends within the last month and a half and I can trust her with anything, and she feels the same to me. It slowly progressed to being more than just friends, we didn't have sex which I'm thankful for. I am just really confused right now because I care about this girl so much but her sponsor doesn't think its a good idea for her to be involved in this. I understand she needs to finish her steps as do i. I'm currently working on my 9th step and I really feel like I have made huge progress from my old behaviors. My sponsor always asks me what are my motives behind this, and all I can think of is that I just really care for this girl, and we have a deeper connection beyond "just friends"... She means so much to me, but i'm just really hung up on what to do. Her sponsors suggests that we don't see eachother as much, but then it just kind of feels weird and unnatural because I enjoy her company and I can talk to her about anything thats going on in my life, including my feelings towards her. We have a very open and honest relationship and there is nothing that I feel uncomfortable talking to her about. It's just really hard to feel forced to not see her and not spend time with her because of the "you're not in a place for a relationship" rule... It also gets to me because her sponsor and my sponsor are boyfriend and girlfriend and they were dating while using, and continued to date through rehab, into recovery... Her sponsor has a year and a half and it seems like she is trying to project her will for the situation onto us... I don't know if i'm looking into that too far or what? But, i've been praying to God so much about this the last couple of weeks and it just seems like the natural progression of things were going where they were... We both have said all along to take things really slow, and they are going really slow... But it I can't stop my feelings and emotions for her and just turn back to being "just friends" again... I'm just really confused on what to do... I don't want to use or drink, I just want to be less confused on the situation. I will continue to pray about this and seek god out for his will in the situation... If anyone has any advice, please share.