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Old 07-16-2009, 04:20 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
NEOMARXIST
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I always used to think of the "Life or death" thing as over-dramaiized and un-realistic for someone who is still young and not a daily drinker.
However what I have learned since I have attempted permanant sobriety and then drank/binged again, is it is not the physical side which is the matter of death for but the mental side, for me personally.
The weight of guilt/remorse/shame/resentment that I felt after promising myself and others that I wouldn't drink/binge again was terrible.
I am 23 and I remember thinking during my last comedown that I wouldn't be able to cope with many more of them as the Low was just too damn low to describe. It was impossible to be able to think any happy thoughts whatsoever and there was no way a smile could surface to my face. The kid I was staying with said that they should take a Photograph of me lying down under a duvet on his floor and use it as an anti drink/drugs photograph with the slogan "Just Dont Do It".

I wish never to get myself into that low state again. The only thing which kept me going throughout the whole turtuous time was the distant thoughts of how happy I was when I was positive in my sobriety.
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