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please note, i am by no means trying to blameshift. i want to acknowledge and own my poor behavior. i want to dig as deep as possible to uncover my unconscious impulses and fears. i WANT to be a better person and experience forgiveness. regardless, i don't want my experience, feelings, emotions, efforts, successes and thoughts to be invalidated because i abused alcohol. in the end, i don't want to lose my right to be a human.
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