i know what you mean...my drinking was over a couple of years before i quit drinking.
thoses first few beers going down the toilet.......till that awful dry retching stops and i can finally keep down some booze......within seconds i felt better.
life seemed to come into focus .....twitching and sweating stopped instantly.
jails and hospitals were regular wake up enviroments.....if it was a jail i was in trouble and needed to the doctor
i had brief moments of clarity......and missed my famly..my daughter and life.
and so began the journey back.....to the big picture if you like.
my drinking was over...i knew it..felt it........
i carried on drinking on and of for maybe 18 months on and off.
10/11 years ago i may have pestered you for money outside the cash point.
for booze or some sob story...
but i had that yearning to get back and live life...... i had the desire and i mean the honest desire to kick it.
if you have that desire........it is possible to do this.
you can get sober and with the right help stay sober....
god be with you