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Stilljustagirl,
This could be the start of a life beyond your dreams. I did much the same as Trucker. I found a guy who knew AA's solution out of the book and he showed me the directions to follow. As a result of that, I recovered from that hopelessness and despair. My life took on new meaning. As a side benefit, I haven't needed or wanted to drink since then.
I can assure you that if you walk into a meeting and tell someone there that you are willing to work the steps, the help will appear. You'll filter right through some of the various opinions in the room, and someone with a solution will show up in your life. It's just how this thing works.
Welcome.
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