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I have been exactly where you are at. Believe me! I thought I was different. I found out that there were millions of people in this world just like me. They are called alcoholics. Welcome to the world of recovery! It can and will get better. You are not alone even though I know that you feel that way. Believe me again, I was just where you are now. I got thru it (the land of the living dead) and so can you. Good Luck.
P.S. I recovered thru A.A. also!
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