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Originally Posted by dolce7dolore  I don't consider myself depressed (my brother on the other hand definitely is..), but sometimes I just get so sad, so down on everything. Like today for instance. It's been a pretty good day--I had fun with some co-workers, I got some up-lifting random complements, things just went well. Yet, at the end of the day, I find myself longing to be in my room alone. Now I'm feeling this ache that just won't go away, you know? It just sucks. Most of the time I just feel so empty inside. |
I never considered depression to be an issue for me, but I could certainly see it in my father and older brother. Sobering up opened my eyes to my own depression issues though.
As soon as I moved away from my kids and ex I felt swallowed up by darkness, loneliness, and sadness. My days went like this......
* Wake up, force myself to shower, shave, brush teeth, and look half-way human. Then sit on the sofa and stare blankly out my apartment window until it was time to take my kids to school.
* Go to work. Yay! Even though I didn't feel great my coworkers would cheer me up with jokes and conversation.
* Maybe go to an AA meeting. That would lift my spirits but I'd leave quickly after the meeting so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone.
* Back to the apartment. Lie in bed, watch the ceiling fan spin, sink into depression and sad thoughts. My life sucked.
What helped me was to see a wellness professional for therapy, he got me on a med (SSRI) and helped me think about what things really made me happy, then I focused on doing those things as much as possible. AA meetings, walks, bike rides, sunshine, I dove into those activities and still keep at it, 4 years later.
Please seek some professional help, it can make a world of difference.