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Welcome, I've been in and out of these forums for a long time too and have only recently taken steps to try to end the madness. I argued long and hard why recovery wouldn't work for me, had a million reasons, but finally something clicked. Not saying I'm "recovered", long way from it, but I'm viewing things with a different mindset.
Instead of trying to figure things out, I'm just trying to take advice from folks who have been able to stay clean for awhile. That includes 12-step stuff, CBT, SMART, a bit of eastern spirituality, whatever I can cobble together to make it, no not make it, to let it work.
I am a devout agnostic, but I've been saying prayers. I have no idea to who or what, but what can it hurt?? I've found someone to help me work with the steps, even though I'm really not sure 12-step recovery is for me.
Reach out like you are doing, and follow through. Like you said, "take some action". Going to meetings only keeps you clean for an hour, you gotta get involved and "work the program". I'm sure you know this, it's just getting it from the head to the heart that took me forever. Best of luck. Take care.
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Peace and Love,
Tyler "I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more and more. I just keep tryin' to get a little better, said a little better than before." Mr. Brownstone G-n-R Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh |