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One thing I decided I am going to do this weekend is sit down and write a list of what exactly I mean by my peace and my serenity. like what it is that brings me, and ensures my, peace and serenity. then I'm going to put it in my wallet so that if and when my AXBF calls or shows up, I will read that to remind myself of all the things he keeps me from having. I tell ya', I can totally relate to what you are saying because whenever the phone rings, my heart starts racing because I am so scared it's going to be him! Sounds stupid, I know, cause I don't have to answer the phone! LOL! One time, to avoid his phone calls, I took off sick from work for DAYS and stayed home and gardened in the rain (slingin' mud!) and after three days of relief, he showed up at my house! I had had it all planned out that if he showed up, I was going to run in the house and lock the door and run into the basement and put my fingers in my ears so I wouldn't hear him calling my name. Instead, when he showed up, I FROZE in the front yard!!! And he wound up getting my heart back. Which now I really regret.
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