|
Hi lucybooz, I was a mom who went to great lengths in order for my son to keep his car. (the car I gave him)
When I stepped out of the way, I allowed him the privilege to actually _be_ an adult. It didn't all come about overnight but gradually I learned to change my own reactions, responses and actions.
In my mind, if he didn't have a car or didn't live in our home; he couldn't go to work, he would not have a job, he would be homeless...etc...etc... etc. And that is how I saw it until I realized that all my efforts and good intentions were not helping him to want change.
None of those things I 'predicted' turned out to be true, he got rides to work and always found a place to stay; and when things finally got bad enough he was ready to change. He's worked hard to clean up the mess and make a good life for himself.
The changes I made were simple, but none of it was easy. It took time and patience plus attending tons of open AA and NA meetings in addition to my own Al-Anon meeting for me to become aware of the nature of this disease. It took time for me to learn and become ready to change, and it was most definitely worth it both for all involved.
__________________  |