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geothinkah · 07-09-2009, 09:55 AM

"Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now." BB pg 58

I quote the above passage to remind myself that I don't want to do a drunk-a-log. It's about my Being not my actions...

What I used to be like: After almost 40 years of drinking and 30 years of trying to beat my alcoholism, I had given up all hope of ever getting sober. I had lost everything worth while to me. I believed that I had wasted a human life, mine. I just wanted to die and get it all over with. Sooner rather than later - thank you.

What happened: I was reading the 4th edition of the BB and thinking - same old crap, wrote at a sixth grade level, this stuff never did work for me, bla bla bla... At the end of a new story "Save Haven" that was added to the forth edition I read "From experience, I've realized that I cannot go back and make a brand-new start. But through A.A., I can start from now and make a brand-new end." It's hard to put into words; however, I was struck with the thought that if I did everything in my power to get and stay sober just maybe I wouldn't have to go down a DRUNK. I felt as though the booze problem was lifted out of me right then. It seemed that as long as I was willing to do the best that I could everything was going to be all right. As it has proved to be -- I have been clean and sober for over a year now!

What I am like now: What can I say... First, I am just so amazed that apparently I have escaped the insanity of alcoholism! It warms my heart so much to have regained a relationship with my daughter. I thought that had been destroyed beyond repair. I enjoy sponsoring other guys now. I have a spiritual connection to the world that I don't believe I ever had (although I'm not claiming to have any understanding of that yet - it may all be to much for my head anyways). I just know that "the end of my story has changed"!

I've just moved out of the Maine woods after living in a camp without electricity or running water for two years. My sister loaned me a laptop and I am sucking off the neighbor's wireless system. I was surprised to find out that I had joined this site back in 06. It's looking good! Enough for now, I look forward to getting to know all of you.

Another amazing thing, my twin brother and I lived in that camp together, had our last drink together, and have gone thru this process together, and have gotton the same results! Is that odd or is that God?

P.S. In the title notice I said Recovered not Cured!

07-09-2009, 09:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
geothinkah Alcoholic Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Calais Maine Posts: 37 Blog Entries: 14	It appears I've "Recovered"! "Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now." BB pg 58 I quote the above passage to remind myself that I don't want to do a drunk-a-log. It's about my Being not my actions... What I used to be like: After almost 40 years of drinking and 30 years of trying to beat my alcoholism, I had given up all hope of ever getting sober. I had lost everything worth while to me. I believed that I had wasted a human life, mine. I just wanted to die and get it all over with. Sooner rather than later - thank you. What happened: I was reading the 4th edition of the BB and thinking - same old crap, wrote at a sixth grade level, this stuff never did work for me, bla bla bla... At the end of a new story "Save Haven" that was added to the forth edition I read "From experience, I've realized that I cannot go back and make a brand-new start. But through A.A., I can start from now and make a brand-new end." It's hard to put into words; however, I was struck with the thought that if I did everything in my power to get and stay sober just maybe I wouldn't have to go down a DRUNK. I felt as though the booze problem was lifted out of me right then. It seemed that as long as I was willing to do the best that I could everything was going to be all right. As it has proved to be -- I have been clean and sober for over a year now! What I am like now: What can I say... First, I am just so amazed that apparently I have escaped the insanity of alcoholism! It warms my heart so much to have regained a relationship with my daughter. I thought that had been destroyed beyond repair. I enjoy sponsoring other guys now. I have a spiritual connection to the world that I don't believe I ever had (although I'm not claiming to have any understanding of that yet - it may all be to much for my head anyways). I just know that "the end of my story has changed"! I've just moved out of the Maine woods after living in a camp without electricity or running water for two years. My sister loaned me a laptop and I am sucking off the neighbor's wireless system. I was surprised to find out that I had joined this site back in 06. It's looking good! Enough for now, I look forward to getting to know all of you. Another amazing thing, my twin brother and I lived in that camp together, had our last drink together, and have gone thru this process together, and have gotton the same results! Is that odd or is that God? P.S. In the title notice I said Recovered not Cured!