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miss communicat · 07-09-2009, 08:50 AM

3 questions to ask yourself before telling him that you were using him and that you were not a sincere friend in the past are:

1. Is it Kind?
2. Is it True?
3. Is it nescessary?

Number 3 is worth exploring: While telling this fellow that you were a phony friend may be nescessary for YOU to have a clear conscience, it may not be nesessary for this man's heart to learn that he was unacceptable in your (drunk) eyes, and unworthy of true friendship.

I do believe it is harmful to him to dump this onto him. Which, in turn, will become harmful to your sobriety and could lead you to a drink. So, no. I would definitely not disclose the extent to which you were shallow and superficial. This can be amended internally within your heart, and externally in actions moving forward.

Show that you care today.
Show that he is a worthy and lovable human being, and show him respect and courtesy in your deeds. These acts need not be "show-y" though. They should be quiet and unassuming. You show respect by not causing him discomfort and hurt. You show courtesy by listening to him tell you how he is doing or what his needs are.

07-09-2009, 08:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
miss communicat Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in the present moment Posts: 2,061	3 questions to ask yourself before telling him that you were using him and that you were not a sincere friend in the past are: 1. Is it Kind? 2. Is it True? 3. Is it nescessary? Number 3 is worth exploring: While telling this fellow that you were a phony friend may be nescessary for YOU to have a clear conscience, it may not be nesessary for this man's heart to learn that he was unacceptable in your (drunk) eyes, and unworthy of true friendship. I do believe it is harmful to him to dump this onto him. Which, in turn, will become harmful to your sobriety and could lead you to a drink. So, no. I would definitely not disclose the extent to which you were shallow and superficial. This can be amended internally within your heart, and externally in actions moving forward. Show that you care today. Show that he is a worthy and lovable human being, and show him respect and courtesy in your deeds. These acts need not be "show-y" though. They should be quiet and unassuming. You show respect by not causing him discomfort and hurt. You show courtesy by listening to him tell you how he is doing or what his needs are. __________________ i close my eyes and see clearly i stop trying to listen and hear truth i am silent and my heart sings i seek no contact and find union i am still and move forward i am gentle and need no strength i am humble and remain whole (ancient taoist meditation)