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sandrawg · 07-05-2009, 01:57 AM

I don't think it's just anger management you need. This sounds like classic codependency. You might want to check out Melody Beattie's books.

I just broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend, and while it hurts like the devil, it was becoming impossible for me to stay in this relationship and maintain my self-respect, as he kept breaking promises and trampling on my boundaries. Plus, I got tired of the drama that living with an alcoholic brings.

I got to the point where I've had to change my phone number, and block his email.

I also know that leaving him is probably the best thing I could do for him, because deep down inside he might finally face that he has a problem and that it ruined our relationship. So many alcoholics latch onto codependents because they know they can "coast" and not have to get off the duff and get help. MEanwhile, the codependent's life can be ruined because he/she is constantly focused on the alcoholic and his/her problems--problems paying the bills, problems keeping a job...etc. THe codie cleans up the alcoholic's messes.

There is a lot of good help on this forum-I suggest you stick around and read about others' experiences--so many are similar to yours. It might help.

07-05-2009, 01:57 AM	#3 (permalink)
sandrawg Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 457	I don't think it's just anger management you need. This sounds like classic codependency. You might want to check out Melody Beattie's books. I just broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend, and while it hurts like the devil, it was becoming impossible for me to stay in this relationship and maintain my self-respect, as he kept breaking promises and trampling on my boundaries. Plus, I got tired of the drama that living with an alcoholic brings. I got to the point where I've had to change my phone number, and block his email. I also know that leaving him is probably the best thing I could do for him, because deep down inside he might finally face that he has a problem and that it ruined our relationship. So many alcoholics latch onto codependents because they know they can "coast" and not have to get off the duff and get help. MEanwhile, the codependent's life can be ruined because he/she is constantly focused on the alcoholic and his/her problems--problems paying the bills, problems keeping a job...etc. THe codie cleans up the alcoholic's messes. There is a lot of good help on this forum-I suggest you stick around and read about others' experiences--so many are similar to yours. It might help.