[sandrawg]

I'm trying not to, but he's hurt me SO incredibly much.

I posted earlier about how he did coke, in violation of his promise to me not to do it, and told me he did it because he was soooo wasted. He then said, "I have a drinking problem" and promised to stop drinking and get therapy. He said he would DO ANYTHING to have me back.

I stupidly gave him another chance, despite the advice I got on this forum.

Three weeks...three weeks he was sober. Things were great. We were happy.

Then he tells me last night, he's frustrated that he can't drink...his friends invited him to the bar, and he can't go, and it's JULY FOURTH..he could drink a coke at the bar, but he feels stupid not drinking when everyone else is...he's missing out, bla bla.

I gently reminded him, this was for a reason, reason being HE MADE ME A PROMISE due to screwing up, and the condition under which I stayed with him was...ONE MONTH sober. It had only been three weeks.

He said "I think three weeks is enough."

I said, NO, YOU don't get to decide what's enough, I decide! If going to the bar and drinking is so important to you, then go do it! But know that you will lose me out of your life.

He would not stop-he kept nagging me, saying "I think this is about control"...I lost it. I totally lost my temper. I was driving, and I ended up driving like a maniac. I said, MAYBE I should get my things (I was gonna stay at his place this weekend) and go home, and he said "Maybe you should!"

SO I did. And I drove like a maniac on the way home, texting him angry things about how hurt I am, he picked the bar over me, etc.

I then proceeded to change my phone number and block his emails.

I am SOOO HURT. Yet again-this is the umpteen promise he has broken. He's such a manipulative liar. I can't help it-I really feel like he turned my love for him into deep hatred.

I don't even know how to deal with this anymore. Just need some support. I know I did the right thing, but I am sooo hurt still.