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Boy, tell me about it. I could't ask for help even when I was dying. I don't think it was pride or independance, I think it was fear. Fear that I'd be turned down because I wasn't worthy, or, worse yet, fear that I wasn't turned down but I was still unworthy. At some point, I realized even I didn't help myself (ergo 45 years drinking), because, you guessed it, I felt unworthy of my own care and well-being. Well, its Independance Day today and I can be independant of both by addiction and my old destructive thought patterns.
"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."
Sharon Salzberg
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