| Discouraged
I'm having sort of a rough time these past few weeks. My pain is not being managed welll and I am getting discouraged, which starts me thinking 'screw it' at least if I was drinking I could escape this for a while. I know that is ridiculous because drinking is what caused it.
I am trying to find a solution. I have an opportunity to engage an experimental treatment targeting specific areas of the brain. I will also have a new pain management doctor starting next week. I didn't feel that my current pain doc was listening to me at all and he was quite abrasive. My PCP office referred me to the new clinic and made the arrangements for me to see them. I'm scared that they will be the same way because of my alcoholism.
I'm going to my sister-in-laws today for a bbq. I expect that several active family members will attend and I'm stressing about the temptation. I'm tempted enough on my own, right now. I haven't been in a typical 'party' situation since I stopped drinking, not even out with colleagues after work. I can leave if it gets too intense but I'm just scared of the possibility combined with the discouragement I'm feeling.
Thanks for listening - Shea
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