[deerwalk]

I was out a week ago at a place that served alcohol, to see a movie- so as not to be a total recluse. As I was on the way out, bike and everything ready to roll, out the door and seconds from leaving someone offered me a shot. I wanted the company, lonely soul that I am (like many of us)... and it was all downhill from there. I can't have one and I can't say when. I get it. I really get it. A week later and I am tired and regretful, as I knew I'd be- but to feel alive for just a few days seemed worth the trade at the time. It isn't. It just never, ever is. I desire happiness as we all do. Like many I also seek it in the wrong ways. Try as I might to change that, the usual tempations are just so, so many.