You know this situation well enough to know what is love, and when you should trust, no matter what lines you're being fed. There's so much compassion here--
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And, if it were just me in this I could move on and maybe regain that, but my daughter....it is her I am hurting for.
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I can regain love. I will. I just don't need to try to regain
his love or
his definition of love. My friends and extended family's definition of love matter more. I've felt a lot of peace in recognizing that his definition of love is his, but by golly, it isn't mine.
When humans feel overwhelmed by pain it's a wake up call, one your body just can't ignore any more. That pain, when you feel it, is telling you that life should not feel like this. Something within you shifts in response. That's healthy, to want to avoid pain, and to protect your daughter. I think it's healthy to lose the desire to interact with someone who keeps hurting you! I'm proud of you for listening to your heart.
name calling, the mean and hateful arguements, the lack of support, the lack of happiness are no way to live -- no matter how often someone else tells you that is love, it isn't. Do what is right for you -- why should forgetting and going back to more of the same be the right thing to do?
Sorry, I get a little worked up and I'll try to keep my posts shorter. Sometimes I'm writing here the emails I draft and never send to someone who just wouldn't understand a word coming out of my mouth. I hope you hear the more seasoned and understanding and calm veterans on the board and breathe deeply. Sometimes a bath sounds like much better, and truly compassionate way to focus. Peace to you, tonight.