Quote:
Originally Posted by riaerif 
Did I do this? Did I stay by her side and somehow that means I'm responsible for this?
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You are responsible for your own choices and what you feel or think.
True adulthood means we stop blaming our parents for whatever is wrong with us. You are responsible for you and your own choices and what you feel and think. Mom has no control over you unless you relinquish it to her and vice-versa.
Have you considered getting some therapy to help you move beyond the trauma that is your mother?