| I'm not about to bury myself.
As i revealed about five days ago, i relapsed this past friday after having a little more than two weeks clean and when i fell, i fell HARD. The slip happened friday attending a party i shouldnt have attended in early sobriety and the bender followed for four more days afterwards. I went so hard on friday that my head was so twisted up saturday so i used again, and again, knowing i was only making it worse on myself, until i finally ended it yesterday. Today is day two and i am once again, depressed, anxious, the whole works. My sick head wanted to keep the bender going until after the 4th so i wouldnt have to deal with that day, but i was just too warn out to use yesterday and i guess that was a good thing. Alcohol, vicodin, Ativan, Klonopin, Ambien, Heroin, all found there way back into my system so quick its a shock to me. If theres one thing i learned from this relapse its that i have no ******* clue how serious my habit has gotten again so fast, if i dont stop i will for sure die before im 30. Ill come back in a few days and write more when i have something more positive to say. Im gonna attend meetings and just get back in the game. Thanks for listening, ill be reading around this forum just like i have been even when i was using...Talk to you all soon.
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"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. To hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
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