First you should congratulate yourself for coming here for help, regardless of whether you just self-injured or you feel you're about to. Know that you are not alone and there's millions of others who self-injure to escape their internal pain. Most people self-injure for the endorphin release because it helps calm down the loud and often unbearable noise and negative feelings in their head. But there are other non-self-harming ways to get that release. Here are some:
--Cognitive behavioral therapy studies have shown that if you can re-direct a thought or urge for 15 minutes, it is likely to pass. This involves identifying the negative thought or feeling that makes you want to self-injure; labeling it as a negative, hurtful thought or feeling; challenging the likely irrational thought that makes you want to hurt yourself (ie, I need to cut because I am a bad person and deserve it, or I need to burn myself because I am going to be alone forever) by telling yourself the truth (ie, I am a flawed, but good person who does not deserve to suffer pain at my own hand, or It's unlikely I am going to be alone forever as statistics show 98 percent of people find someone at least once in their lifetime); then re-affirming that truth as reality. A CBT therapist can better help take you through these steps.
-- Go to your freezer and grab a handful of ice or something else frozen. Squeeze it as hard as you can until the urge passes. This gives you a similar endorphin release without the scars.
--Go exercise. This could be on a treadmill, just jogging or walking briskly up and down the stairs or walking around your block. Do it for between 15-30 minutes, 30 minutes to get the full psychological benefits.
--Get a rubber band and put it around your wrist. Snap yourself every time you feel like harming yourself.
--Draw on yourself where you feel like hurting yourself with a marker or pen.
--Do deep breathing. Specifically, breathe in through the nose for 3 seconds, hold your breath for another 3 seconds, and breathe out through the mouth. Repeat. This will calm you down enough until the urge passes. When you become calm enough, try meditating. You can find several exercises here:
http://www.meditationworkshop.org/meditation_exercises
--Allow yourself to cry if need be.
--Write or say a word over and over that best describes how they feel.
--Force yourself to do something you enjoy or that makes you happy. It could be doing something that makes you laugh and smile or upbeat music you enjoy. Do something comforting that nurtures yourself, even though the urges in your head will want you to do the opposite.
--If you're a cutter, use your tool for cutting and cut something else, say a block of wood. Often cutting is a way to release pent up aggression, in which case you could also punch a punching bag. If you're a burner, burn something expendable that holds no value to you or anyone else. Do this somewhere where water or dirt is near to put out the flame.
--Masturbate or have sex. You may not feel like it when you want to self-harm but this is a great way to get an even better endorphin rush.
--Eat something you enjoy. It's not necessarily healthy to replace self-harming with eating possibly bad foods, but it's not as bad as hurting yourself.
--You may cut, burn or otherwise self-injure because you're depressed and hate yourself and want to punish yourself. Think about what a friend or even stranger would say about your choice to punish yourself. They'd forgive you. Your family and friends don't want you to hurt yourself life that, think how that'd affect them. Be willing to forgive yourself at least just this once.
--A lot of self-injuring happens when a person is hungover, drunk or high on drugs. Get yourself into AA, NA, MA, LifeRing, SMARTRecovery or a similar recovery program if that's a problem for you. If you have a diagnosed mental illness as well as addiction you should look into Dual Diagnosis meetings in your area as this will address the illness and the addiction together. You may also need an antidepressant to adjust your chemicals which can help greatly.
--Call a friend or talk to a family member. Sometimes talking to a stranger may be best because of your fear (real or irrational) of how friends and family will react, so feel free to call 1-800-SUICIDE or write to The Samaritans at
jo@samaritans.org. I know it's usually for suicidal people, but they can help with self-harm. Also do a Google search for other crisis lines in your area.
--Find yourself a good therapist, preferably one who uses cognitive behavioral therapy. If you're also an alcoholic or have a drinking problem, find someone who does dual diagnostic treatment.
--Before you self-injure, realize how it might affect your romantic relationships, that you won't be able to wear shorts or feel comfortable going swimming.
--Find out why you're self-injuring and try to deal with that problem, preferably with a therapist with whom you're comfortable.
--Mainly find activities that replace self-injuring that are equally enjoyable.
Regardless of whether or not your hurting yourself becomes worse, you really do need to see a therapist and be willing to open up to them because the self-injuring is just a symptom of a larger problem. Just realize you're not alone and this is nothing to be ashamed or guilty about and the therapist will not judge you. You may also need to go on some prescription medications, or just an antidepressant to cut down on those urges. I've heard Wellbutrin is effective in cutting down all sorts of urges, but check with a psychiatrist you trust.
Just remember cutting and self-injury is only a temporary fix with permanent scars. It will not solve your problems no matter how many times you cut (I learned that the hard way). Good luck.
Take care,
Clayton
