I'm glad this thread has provoked some thoughts that have us at least pondering and discussing traditions. This was an unseen benefit.
In my group, we talk about each other. We are concerned with each other. We had a guy in our group that was in bad shape. He chaired a meeting one night and was not happy. He thought it was unfair that he had to chair a meeting when he was in such bad shape. Later, we found he was in a financial pinch. I told him I thought he could have just brought up the truth and it would have been a great topic. Instead, he would catch the judgement and wrath from someone in the group for his actions. I defended him. I was accused of "coddling" him. I told the "elderly statesmen that he had no right to gossip about the guy who wasn't there to defend himself. I was told that there is a time and a place to talk about someone. "What are we supposed to do? Ignore the fact he's in a mess?"
I stood my ground. But the guy who was in dire straits fessed up and cleared things up with the group... gossip or not.
"There are no secrets" seems to override "Let it stay here" in our particular group. Not saying it's right... just the way it currently is.