"and just being crazy,, i didnt think i was like that."
this is always the problem with drugs, they make you view yourself and life in a different, false reality. you probably thought you felt in control and on top of the world when you were using, but it's an illusion. maybe you should talk to your doctor about the effect that it has on you and ask him to take you off of it. the fact that you took the time to search for and post on this site says alot. there is a better way to live. you can be happy and energetic without using any substances.
i personally found that the people i have met in NA are a great source of strength for me. i go to meetings regularly, and being surrounded by the positivity is always a boost of energy for me.
also i have been struggling with quitting smoking for awhile now, so props to you for quitting. being under the influence of anything always made me crave cigarettes even more, so by taking pills you would be going back to both.
keep up the good work and don't question if your desire to not use is the right thing to do. being clean and serene is ALWAYS better than using and crazy. good luck to you
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