| RIP me
its funny how i can type one fingered to a load of people out there i dont know or probably never will know
yet somehow i feel a bond to you all ,i can spill out my thoughts and i know that some of you will understand
i have had two younger brothers die ,my mother die and my beautiful daughter Natasha die ,for the last few years every thing has become a drunken blur ,like some sort of nightmare i'm in too scared to leave but very unhappy in
today is 24 days 12 hours sober over 200 million heart beats sober if i read it correctly
i am a great drunk ,a very funny very popular great dance on tables drunk ,life and soul of the party drunk
sober i am nothing i dont know how to be normal ,i am like a fish out of water ,the life i had before i hit the demon drink is gone ,how the hell do you guys carry on
all my friends are drunks ,i'm like a ghost that dont know how to cross over ,i feel much better in my body less pain less tiredness but its like i have been dropped off on another planet ... guys take me to your leader i know not what to do , i have not been out for weeks .... what next folks another thirty years of this its enough to make a guy get drunk
the physical addiction of drinking seems to have gone but the loneliness of being the only sober guy on my planet is pretty grim ,is that why so many people go back to drinking ? not just that the numbing effect of the booze has worn off just a tad ..that hitch hiker called grief is well and truly on my back and believe me i think he has brought his wife and kids with him ,oh and his ma in law , sorry rant over i just wondered if any one else feels like this ,any how thanks for taking the time to read ,it probably took you a lot less time to read it than it took me to write it lol
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