[otterbearcat]

I am so severely depressed right.
I am losing my job at the end of the month, I might be breaking up my significant other who has been most of my support as well.
I have no family, most of my friends were 'drinking buddies', and now that Im not drinking I cant be around some of them because they have bad boundaries or cant relate. So Im left with a couple good friends that live on the other side of the country, a couple aquaintices, a couple a people that I dont think I can be friends with anymore because I only really like them when I drinking.

I went to the store last night to get diet soda and ramen noodles. Ive started drinking the soda bc I need to something to open and have in my hands sometimes, and Im already having 4 cups of tea. Ramen noodles bc Im about to be completley broke.

So back to the point... I am looking at the seasonal beers thinking, mmm, I cant wait til I can drink again, then I think I want one, so I consider beering a six pack of na beer, end the I buy a 6 pack of vanilla cream soda bc they are out of rootbeer. Cost the same as cheap beer btw.

So Ive gained back some of the weight I orginally lost when I first quit drinking bc now Im drinking soda, over eating, eating tons of ice cream, when all i want to drink and be numb.


Did I mention I ramble and my stories are always waaaaaaaay too long?

I dont want to be an anti-depressants but if I lose the main support in my life on top of being unemployed, I dont know how Im not gonna drink.