[freya]

My advice is that you concentrate on loving yourself and getting yourself healthy -- and that includes both sobriety and a level of self-awareness and self-esteem sufficient to allow you to be alone without being lonely -- and only then do you think about being in intimate relationship with someone else.

You say you are in London, yet you say that if you meet someone for a date it will most likely be in a bar????? Let's get real here -- London is a huge, very progressive metropolis with lots of stuff going on for GLBT people, plenty of which is not happening in bars. If you choose to have your dates be in bars then obviously that's your right, but, you are not living in Podunk, Arkansas (that's US slang for a very small, rural, ultra-conservative town), so if you choose to do your dating/socializing in bars then that is a choice on your part.....and, as your post indicates, it is a choice that is not conducive to your sobriety.

And you say you are not going to get into an unhealthy relationship, but it is very unclear in your post how exactly you intend to prevent that....or even how you would be able to carry out a plan to prevent it assuming you had one. Here you are knowing that you have a problem drinking, yet choosing to go into situations where you know you will be faced with temptation that you are pretty much giving yourself every excuse not to resist, and yet you "seriously" believe (and expect us to believe!) that a relationship that starts out in exactly that same situation has even a snowball's chance in h*ll to be anything but disastrously unhealthy????

It appears from you post that you are not being honest with yourself nor with us. Without true self-awareness, honestly and a firm commitment to your own personal growth and health, what kind of relationship are you really going to be getting into and how can that be, long term, anything but hurtful to both yourself and anyone with whom you might become involved?

freya