[Mark75]

between hard drinker and alcoholic.

Oh noooo... here we go again. Not really. Not this original post anyway.

I struggle with this because I liked drinking, I thought I could drink hard and get away with it and I did for years. Something happened, I didn't get away with it any more. I still have a car, family and job, but if I keep digging, I won't.

So there is this 1st step thing and the leveling of pride.... and the 12 steps. I am working on my fourth, behind schedule? I don't know, I needed to regain some sanity first. I didn't think I had any resentments, turns out I have a lot.

My invisible line was that I decided I could drink whenever I wanted to... When I reloaded ammunition, whitewater canoe trips with my kids, driving, on the way home from work, on really bad mornings, on the way to work, whatever... I just made sure I didn't get smashed.

My invisible line was not that I couldn't stop... I could almost always stop before blackout, the dizzies or if I was out of the house, in social situation, before I made an idiot out of myself.

So this hard drinker/real alcoholic thing is important to me... I need to work the steps, level my pride and work that 1st step until it goes from my head to my heart.

I needed to share that. Experience Strength and Hope will be appreciated.

Mark