 New and scared shitless
I AM A MOTHER OF 2 COLLEGE GRADUATED AND A POTHEAD. I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY LAUGHING AT ME RIGHT NOW SAYING POT ISN'T A DRUG BUT IT HAS STOPPED ME FROM BEING A PARENT IT COSTED ME A VERY HIGH PAYING JOB ON PK AVE. AND IS GETTING READY TO COST ME MY HUSBAND WHO DOESNT EVEN DRINK. AT 1ST IT WAS A FUN BUT IT IS NO LONGER FUN I HAVE TRIED TO STOP MANY TIMES OVER THE YRS WITH NO LUCK ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY USES AND SELLS WHICH MAKES IT HARD THEN WHEN I STAY AWAY FROM THEM I AM A BAD PERSON IN THERE EYES I ONLY TIME I MANAGED TO STAY CLEAN IS WHEN IM PREGGOS AND HELL WHO WANTS TO KEEP GETTING KNOCKED UP IN ORDER TO STAY CLEAN.
I WANT MY LIFE BACK I HAVE LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING I WORK IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY GET HIGH OR DRUNK ATY WORK EVEN THOU I NEVER LET ON TO MY COWORKERS THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM I WANT TO QUIT EVERYONE LAUGHS AT ME AND SAYS THERE NO REHAB FOR THAT U JUST HAVE TO DO IT I HAVE TRIED BUT CAN ISTARTED OUT WITH 1 $10 HABIT FOR 2 DAYS WORTH OF POT I HAVE DONE THE MATH I SPEND APPROX. $7000 - 8000 A YEAR ON THIS HABIT I KNOW I HAVE ISSUSE WITH DEPRESSION AND I AM SACRED TO TALK TO ANYONE I NO BC OF GOSSIP AND JUDGEMENT. MY HUSBAND TALKS CRAP ABOUT ME AND MY ADDICATION TO EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND I HARDLY LEAVE THE HOUSE NOW OUT OF EMBRASSMENT I FEEL LOST HOPELESS AND LIKE A LIAR PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS OK AND I AM SCREAMING INSIDE SOMEONE PLEASE HELP I HAVE STARTED TAKING OXY'S AND I CAN SEE THE PATH IS GOING TO GET WORSE BEFORE BETTER IF I DONT GET SOME HELP
SO CAN ANYONE PLEASE OFFER ME SOME HELP:praying
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