[findingout]

I think my recovery has been like I was told the stock market was *supposed* to be. Ups and downs but a wise investment for those who are in it for the long term?

If I look at where I was emotionally, physically and spiritually back in 2002 when I had my last drink, the big picture says "Damn, my decision to give up drinking really was the most important decision I ever made." But day to day, week to week, I do go through periods of groundlessness. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "Am I really happy, joyous and free in recovery or am I just pretending to be happy, joyous and free because I can't drink?" When these thoughts occur, I remind myself that I wasn't just pretending to drink three or four glasses of wine so I could get out the door in morning and go to work. I really did do that for most of that last year.