Winter, Hi and welcome,
As a recovering opiate/cocaine addict, 8 months clean, I know exactly how you feel. Before entering rehab last September, I was swallowing 30 10mg hydro or oxycodones per day just to keep from being 'dope sick', plus I was snorting/smoking about an 8 ball of coke a day.
I started taking painkillers a little more than 10 years ago after an accident. I loved the energy they gave me, the confidence, the feeling. I too started taking the amount that you are currently taking, but believe me when I say this...You will increase this amount with time....and bam! before you know it, you'll be taking them just to keep from being 'sick'.
We all, as addicts, do things we're not proud of. But if you don't quit using, you will continue to degrade yourself and your body for pills. If you did one time, you'll do it again, and again when you're desperate.
Have you ever heard of Suboxone? This drug is designed to help you through withdrawl and cravings for opiates. For me, it saved my life. I suggest you google it.
But you have to have the desire and want recovery, otherwise it won't do you any good.
Keep posting...you'll receive a lot of advice and support here
Good luck,
Penny
