| Thank you so much
For posting this. I have been a long-time 'lurker' on this site and one other addiction website. I have a story not unlike most of yours and maybe one day I'll tell it, but for now I have to say that I have learned so much from all of you - thank you. It provided me with a place to come in order to clear my mind and to realize that I was not crazy...I was just living the life of a person addicted to an addict, with all the crazy things that go along with that choice.
I became reluctant a long time ago to post anything of consequence, primarily due to what I witnessed on the other site...people who, possibly with good intentions(?), make sweeping statements about what addicts are - for example, completely devoid of any sort of feelings, incapable of love of any kind except for the drug, evil to the core, hopeless, incurable, etc. And for those of us who are the family and friends of addicts? Judgements that we must be extremely ill ourselves...co-dependent in the extreme...to allow these people in our lives. Recommendations that we..."just leave"..."run away as fast as you can"..."never look back". Implications that if we have children and are unable to "just leave" that we are somehow abusive or at the very least irresponsible as parents. Usually coached in "I don't mean to sound harsh" BUT...language.
Coincidentally, I came across an old controversy between the two sites going back quite a number of years. The answer from Sober Recovery was simply "We do not shoot our wounded here". I can't begin to tell you how comforting that sounds to me...and your note today confirms that this is still the case. All who come here are wounded in some way - hurting, confused, angry, saddened. There is no answer or response, no "one size fits all" solution for each and every one of us. Our circumstances are as varied and unique as we all are as human beings.
Thank you for your tolerance...and for not shooting the wounded, of which I am one...
|