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I don't know how to be helpful and supportive towards someone who is allowing their children to live in a harmful environment. Maybe the best response is no response? Or is that condoning it?
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I think that this is a big trigger for many members, I have found that when I find myself feeling so triggered, I ask myself if I have any personal experience I can share that would be of help. When I do not draw from my own experience, I tend to walk the line where it comes to passing judgement on the OP based on what is written on a page on a computer and what my gut reaction is. And then I may start with the "how could yous" or the "you shoulds." It really helps me to stop and think that I do not know the reality of the situation nor have I walked in that person's shoes.
In situations where I do not have experience to share but I want to show support, a simple hug and a reminder that I care and I am keeping that person in my thoughts and prayers sometimes might make a difference.