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Gmoney · 06-04-2009, 10:46 PM

Do any of you guys date within the fellowships? If so, why? And if not, why not?

I'll give ya a little of my story: As a newcomer, I got drilled with the 'no relationship for one year crap' and figured I'd follow directions for a while. I turned down a lot of offers, but gave in at around 10 months clean. I must admit that being sentenced to prison helped me decide to go ahead and "get busy" because I knew I wouldn't be able to for a while.

By the time I came home, I had 2 1/2 years clean and was eager, yet I kept hearing horror stories about relationships and the stuff I heard the women share scared the crap out of me. Too many women (and some men) would air-out their dirty laundry in meetings and I didn't want to risk having to avoid meetings because the person I was involved with decides to character assassinate me.

Now, at almost 11 years clean, I'm single again and met a woman in the rooms. She's very attractive and has almost 6 years in recovery. After 3 weeks of dating, she's changed from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde. I'm well aware that some of us are sicker than others, and clean time doesn't always equal recovery, but this experience has reaffirmed my decision NOT to date in the rooms.

tflms

06-04-2009, 10:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gmoney Evolving Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York State Posts: 2,910	Dating in the rooms Do any of you guys date within the fellowships? If so, why? And if not, why not? I'll give ya a little of my story: As a newcomer, I got drilled with the 'no relationship for one year crap' and figured I'd follow directions for a while. I turned down a lot of offers, but gave in at around 10 months clean. I must admit that being sentenced to prison helped me decide to go ahead and "get busy" because I knew I wouldn't be able to for a while. By the time I came home, I had 2 1/2 years clean and was eager, yet I kept hearing horror stories about relationships and the stuff I heard the women share scared the crap out of me. Too many women (and some men) would air-out their dirty laundry in meetings and I didn't want to risk having to avoid meetings because the person I was involved with decides to character assassinate me. Now, at almost 11 years clean, I'm single again and met a woman in the rooms. She's very attractive and has almost 6 years in recovery. After 3 weeks of dating, she's changed from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde. I'm well aware that some of us are sicker than others, and clean time doesn't always equal recovery, but this experience has reaffirmed my decision NOT to date in the rooms. tflms __________________ "We are never forced into relapse. We are given a choice. Relapse is never an accident." - Basic Text, 5th Ed.