[JMFburns]

I usually post in the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum, but I thought maybe I'd branch out for a bit more input/advice.

My 28 yr old son was an opiate addict. He is currently sober. He is homeless, staying in a shelter and jobless (he hasn't held a job for any length of time in about 3 years.) Yep, you guessed it, I've been trying my darndest to cover him financially - not very well . . . he has state funded medical coverage, food assistance ($170 a month) and says he was just approved for cash assistance ($203 a month.) He went through one out patient treatment program for drug addiction about 2 years ago, seemed to thrive during that time. He does not attend any 12 step meetings. The county doctor has prescribed him Effexor. He says he needs "help" but has a whole list of things that won't help him or things he can't do.

How much should I be involved? Is he incapable of finding and getting the help he needs? Are there any folks here who have struggled with homelessness, ADD, OCD, general anxiety, low self esteem, prior drug addiction, etc. that have gone out and found the help they needed and are living 'normal' lives on their own??? Or did you need a friend or loved one to help you through the process? Someone to be your advocate?

He comes to me most every day for money. I am not able at this time to say no, so decided yesterday (with the help of my therapist) that I would not meet w/him alone anymore. I have a few coworkers that are willing to "help" me with this. Am I giving up on him? I think by my meeting w/him (and probably giving him money) he sees that as I still love him.

I know I may get ALOT of stern words from some folks. But please keep in mind I am struggling to the best of my ability to move forward. It is taking me longer than I'd like, but with the help of SR, NarAnon, AlAnon and a therapist I hope to make some progress. I just need help, help, help.

Thanks, Joan