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FightingIrish · 05-29-2009, 09:02 PM

OK, so since getting sober 21 months ago, I have had absolutely no romantic or sex life. I am a 37 y/o GWM. I am afraid (shell-shocked?) about the idea of putting myself out there.

I live in a place where it's not clear exactly where and how to meet gay people except at a bar. There are online personals, but I am horrible about actually making the connection to want to meet someone in person. I was recently chewed a new a-----e by a guy whom I honestly have just flaked out on several times. I didn't know what to say. I don't mention that I am sober right off the bat, and I also don't mention that I am frightened to death about meeting someone in person.

I have been through the steps, and am very active in person in A.A. I do lots of service, have a bunch of friends in the program, etc. But when it comes to gay stuff, I feel like I'm about 13 years old again. Too many years of using drugs and booze to feel like I could properly function as a gay man, socially and sexually. I have attended gay meetings, but it's honestly no better there than anywhere else.

Has anyone else felt like this after getting sober? It honestly feels like some sort of strange PTSD.

M

05-29-2009, 09:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
FightingIrish problem with authority Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 873	putting yourself out there OK, so since getting sober 21 months ago, I have had absolutely no romantic or sex life. I am a 37 y/o GWM. I am afraid (shell-shocked?) about the idea of putting myself out there. I live in a place where it's not clear exactly where and how to meet gay people except at a bar. There are online personals, but I am horrible about actually making the connection to want to meet someone in person. I was recently chewed a new a-----e by a guy whom I honestly have just flaked out on several times. I didn't know what to say. I don't mention that I am sober right off the bat, and I also don't mention that I am frightened to death about meeting someone in person. I have been through the steps, and am very active in person in A.A. I do lots of service, have a bunch of friends in the program, etc. But when it comes to gay stuff, I feel like I'm about 13 years old again. Too many years of using drugs and booze to feel like I could properly function as a gay man, socially and sexually. I have attended gay meetings, but it's honestly no better there than anywhere else. Has anyone else felt like this after getting sober? It honestly feels like some sort of strange PTSD. M __________________ "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."