SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

evileyes00 · 05-14-2004, 09:47 AM

HI all,
I don't know if I'm in the right place, but I don't really know where to go. My fiance/my best friend/my life just admitted after a really hard drinking binge that he is and has been forever, an alcoholic. His entire family is as well. I am having trouble understanding because this is all new to me. I am angry at his mom for being drunk, I don't know how to act anymore. It's stupid because nothing's changed except, I now know the facts that he has been sugar-coating all this time. I already knew, but it just hit hard when he admitted it. He is having a lot of trouble because he doesn't think I like his family. And it's not that. It's just that I am pissed off and all I want is for everyone to be happy and I just simply don't understand. I am trying to be supportive, but he is so depressed. He hasn't drank for a month and he's been to a couple AA meetings. Last night we got into an argument and he left and when he finally came back he was crying and admitted he was going to drink but decided against it. That's good, I suppose. We are just having such a hard time through these first stages. I have suggested he see a therapist but his response was he doesn't know where to go. I am having doubts and wonder if I like only the drunk side of him. I know that's completely untrue, but He seems so lost right now. He seeks my comfort and then turns away from me. From what I've read, this is all very normal. It's just hard. I have taken on pretty much all the tasks. I pay the bills, I clean, I cook, I take care of the pets and the laundry. He is still working and is almost obsessive with it and saving money. We were looking for houses because we are getting married next year, but he gets very nervous everytime we do. I told him we could put it off for a long while. He keeps telling me he needs space......and all I want to do is be there for him. I feel like his mother right now. His hurt dwells inside of me. Does anyone have some advice for me? I'll have to tell him about this website, but he's not too interested in using the computer like me. Thanks--sorry this is sooo long.

05-14-2004, 09:47 AM	#1 (permalink)
evileyes00 Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Flint, MI Posts: 5	Fiance is an alcoholic HI all, I don't know if I'm in the right place, but I don't really know where to go. My fiance/my best friend/my life just admitted after a really hard drinking binge that he is and has been forever, an alcoholic. His entire family is as well. I am having trouble understanding because this is all new to me. I am angry at his mom for being drunk, I don't know how to act anymore. It's stupid because nothing's changed except, I now know the facts that he has been sugar-coating all this time. I already knew, but it just hit hard when he admitted it. He is having a lot of trouble because he doesn't think I like his family. And it's not that. It's just that I am pissed off and all I want is for everyone to be happy and I just simply don't understand. I am trying to be supportive, but he is so depressed. He hasn't drank for a month and he's been to a couple AA meetings. Last night we got into an argument and he left and when he finally came back he was crying and admitted he was going to drink but decided against it. That's good, I suppose. We are just having such a hard time through these first stages. I have suggested he see a therapist but his response was he doesn't know where to go. I am having doubts and wonder if I like only the drunk side of him. I know that's completely untrue, but He seems so lost right now. He seeks my comfort and then turns away from me. From what I've read, this is all very normal. It's just hard. I have taken on pretty much all the tasks. I pay the bills, I clean, I cook, I take care of the pets and the laundry. He is still working and is almost obsessive with it and saving money. We were looking for houses because we are getting married next year, but he gets very nervous everytime we do. I told him we could put it off for a long while. He keeps telling me he needs space......and all I want to do is be there for him. I feel like his mother right now. His hurt dwells inside of me. Does anyone have some advice for me? I'll have to tell him about this website, but he's not too interested in using the computer like me. Thanks--sorry this is sooo long.