I've been in a relationship with someone I have used with for almost 8 years. We have been in phases of using and recovery with one another. This past sobriety ,which I am still mostly in except for the past two days, has been a maturity wake up call for me. I am 29 years old and tired of living the life attached with a dope ball and chain. I am looking at my partner much differently. We live in my mom's home rent free. He pays and I pay when we can but often fault due to both being unemployed. I have started to work in the past two months and feel so good about myself. My friends (clean friends) and I have reconnected closer than ever, But my boyfriend is obsessed still with the dark side. The past two days have been drag down days, where my strength didn't see me through. I fell under the pressure I've been strong against for the past week. But I know I can't deal with his using obviously. I always follow suit.
I am sad because I know that this relationship is seeing its end. He is jobless and basically being supported by my mother. The guilt from that is eating at me. Although we said we would have a good environment for his journey through recovery, it is too trying on me. I feel like I am drowning.
I must admit I am not seeking any help right now outside myself. He is not going to leave, until he gets some money not to be homeless. This is a crazy situation i know, but i need some ideas on how to reclaim myself and find a way out of this. na always made me feel like a loner. I could never assimulate. I dont know.Anyone out there that can help?
